So there we were – a veritable smorgasbord of sperm donors to pick from. For the first time it felt like we had actual options that wouldn’t just be one huge compromise on top of another.
We made a shortlist, we narrowed this down to two. There were upsides and downsides to both, both felt like decisions we’d be happy with (this was HUGE). We needed some more thinking time to decide between them. Donor 2 was out of stock so I put our name on the reserve list as he had new units being released soon. We were leaning more and more towards Donor 2. I spoke to the sperm bank and they told me we were 7th on the list. 7th! The 6 people before us could buy up to 8 units each. It could all be sold out before it was released! It was immediately apparent that we both wanted, definitely wanted, Donor 2.
Over the course of weeks I contacted the sperm bank several times and asked questions the (very helpful) staff couldn’t answer about the likelihood of us getting the sperm. I was very polite and tried to appear perfectly calm and not use my we’ve-been-searching-for-years-and-for-the-first-time-something-feels-right-but-we-waited-for-a-week-before-clicking-add-to-waiting-list-AND-HAVE-NOW-RUINED-OUR-LIVES tone of voice. It really isn’t a tone of voice that is very easy to disguise.
Then I got the email. Our donor was available. I could buy units. That evening I spent $4000 on sperm. It’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought. 6 vials of the building blocks of our potential child is now in storage for us. After all these years I can’t quite believe it’s actually happening, and that’s before the sperm is actually in the same Country as us (and it’ll need to get a hell of a lot closer than that to do any good).